Day Twenty-Nine

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned?

I've learned a lot this past month, it's been an interesting month. First I learned that I need to have more trust in God. I hit the lowest point in my life this month, and it took me a couple of weeks to honestly step back and realize that God's promises were applicable to me, as long as I was able to trust and love him. In this I learned that I have a hard time letting anyone get to know the deepest levels of myself. I couldn't even get myself to trust God with my inner-self, even though I knew that He knows me I still could not bring myself to open up that much to him. I'm working on it though, and I already feel so much better than I did in my lows.
I also learned that I entirely agree with the church's stance on the family. I had always been complacent about it, believing that really as long as it wasn't me there was truly nothing wrong, but there is. I once heard that sin is defined as anything that hurts others, and even though it doesn't seem like that's hurting anyone but the people involved, truly it is. If the only path to gain Eternal Life is through eternal marriage, then choosing an alternative to that, it's taking that happiness (at least in this life, I don't really know a lot about the next life, except that God will take care of everything) from another child of God and that's not okay. Honestly all of this antagonism towards Boyd K. Packer this past week has led me to finally choose a stance and stick to it, and I feel better about life now that I have chosen a stance.
I learned I am not an actor. I hate my acting class with a passion. It sucks. I loved theatre so much in high school, but now it's just awful. I love seeing stage productions, but I now no longer have any desire to be in a stage production, ever again. I'm not a great actor, and I don't want audiences to pay to come watch, me be mediocre on stage. It's just not something I feel right in doing. Maybe it'll get better and I'll find my love that I've lost for acting, but if I don't, I'm not too disappointed, because honestly I'm happier writing, and having people appreciate what I write.
I love college, generally. Some of the classes really aren't that great, but then you come home to your apartment and it's your own, and you're living with all sorts of friends, and life is great. Then Lit. Analysis, I'm always happy in that class, just knowing that I'm there with all sorts of other people who are excited to study this great language and the great writers. I also love Friday nights more than another night...ever. So what if I don't get much sleep, adventures are way more fun.
Also, Ramen needs water when you put it in the microwave. Cleaning checks stink majorly. Dishes, yeah not very many people like to do them...at all. I'm paranoid (I woke up alone in my apartment and was seriously freaked out that the guy from When a Stranger Calls would be in my apartment. It was in fact terrifying). I have the coolest mom in the world.