I can't honestly believe what all was going on in my head at the beginning of the semester. It was such a dark place, that I didn't feel like I could let anyone know about...I wish I trusted more, because I think I could've recovered more quickly if I had trusted someone enough to actually talk to them.
I'm actually happy now. It's nice. I have some amazing friends at school with me now, and even though I'm not who I really want to be yet, I'm progressing, and I think that's what matters.
I honestly wish that no one else would ever have to go through what I did that month, because it was terrible. And when I stop and think, I realize that people have gone through worse, and ended up taking their own lives. That's a scary thought. I dunno why this hit me all of a sudden, but I just want everyone to know that no matter how low your lows are, there is a way to turn around and find happiness again.
The way is love. Love those around you more than you love yourself. Even if you think you hate yourself, the fact that you think more about how much you hate about yourself more than you think about others is a sign of selfishness. Get out of that rut and go out and serve. Let God into your life. Just pray to Him. He wants to be a part of your life, especially at times like that in your life. Let Him, because He can change your perspective. That's a wonderful feeling!
Never give up on happiness.
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