Mammoth of a Story

So I just barely realized how intense my story is. There's at least one HUGE book before the one I'm working on now, and the one I'm working on now has so much that is involved, that I might end it earlier then originally planned. I think it'll end in an entirely different way then planned...I'm trying to make sure that this one is just reasonably sized. Where I think I'm ending it could be the end of my first book...although it might just be the end of part one of book one (written-wise, not chronologically-wise). I dunno. I'm kinda surprised at where I feel like it should end, but if that's what I still feel is right when I get there, then that's where I'll end it...that would suck though.

Expectations

I have not met a single person this year who did not struggle in some way coming to college. I think all of us expected to come to college and suddenly life would be completely different. Our insecurities would vanish, we would make the best friends of our lives in the first five minutes, and every single day from the very first night we were here, we would be partying all the time. At least, you know, those were my expectations.
Life doesn't work out that way. Life will always still be just life. College is awesome, and I officially love it, but I never in high school planned on giving myself time to adjust. I was supposed to come to college, be awesome, popular, spiritual, cool, dating, you know all that good stuff. But life wasn't made to be easy.
I've been thinking about it a lot, and honestly I think the problem I had was I thought I was the outsider. Heck I moved here from the other side of the country, and people weren't bending over backwards to help me. What is this? I was so dumb. Honestly if I had spent those first months trying to help other people with this difficult adjustment in their life, I would have probably enjoyed my first couple months here so much more. I think the thing we all need to remember is that everyone is struggling in someway, and the best way to get over your own struggles is to help someone else with theirs, so that's my plan.
I hope you got some sort of insight out of this if you're in a place where you still aren't happy with college prospects. When life stops being about you searching for personal happiness and starts being about helping others find happiness, you become happy. It's an intriguing irony to me, but I guess we came here for the purpose of helping one another, so just keep that in mind. I'll try my hardest to do the same.

Under Pressure

I now have college girls reading my blog...like at least five (possibly more) of them. That's some major pressure there, why did I advertise that I have a blog? I don't actually know. I just know that now I feel required to sound more interesting...we'll see if that actually works out. Ah well.
Honestly though I'm just excited to know I have readers, so I won't complain at all. And the pressure is a good thing, so yeah, thanks for reading! Also a big thanks to my non-college girl readers. I appreciate your reading of my blog too!

A Thanksgiving That I Want to Stay With Me Forever

So it's been a day. I won't describe it as great, but I would not call this day a bad one. It was a day, eventful, and I guess it was fun...once I got over the initial feelings I had at the beginning of the day. Overall though, I'm grateful for the day I had today.
Okay, this morning was not great. I'll admit it right up front. This morning was actually one of the top five worst mornings...ever. I mean I woke up at eight, when my alarm went off. That was actually the brightest moment in the morning. And I hate waking up. I was planning on hopping right out of bed, eating a fantastic breakfast, and then heading over to the Lundstrom to get my laundry done. Well the plan faltered when I woke up from a dream where my roommate, Bryce, who had left last night, was murdered on his way home, and a serial killer stolen his room key. When I woke up, I KNEW that the serial killer was in my apartment with me, waiting to jump me the minute I got out of my bedroom. It took me an hour (no joke, I'm that paranoid) to finally convince myself to climb out of bed and take a shower. So after my shower, during which I couldn't help picturing some serial killer wandering around in my apartment, I throw on some gym shorts and the thinnest T-shirt I own so that while I'm doing my laundry I can go across the hall to workout in the fitness center. Yeah that was a bad idea, shoulda thought that through when it's 5 degrees outside, and there's snow everywhere.
Anyways on my way out of the apartment, I think to myself, "hey, you know what, I should just grab my toothbrush and toothpaste and brush my teeth in the Lundstrom, because I still haven't eaten breakfast...oh yeah and my belt so I can change there too..." I don't think I was fully coherent at this moment, because I dunno where the bathrooms are in the Lundstrom. And besides, I told you this already, but I am PARANOID. There's no way I could handle changing in a public bathroom when I still suspect there's some serial killer wandering around the SLC trying to kill me. Heck I hate public bathrooms when I'm not alone on campus with some deranged (and I guess I should mention, imaginary) psycho. They're just creepy. I can't help but picture myself being murdered in public bathrooms...especially the ones on campus. Call me crazy. I probably am a little bit. I'm still really glad that I wasn't coherent, because I swear that that was the first thing I was really grateful for this morning.
So I trudge across campus in my gym shorts, t-shirt, coat, and shoes. It's FREEZING. I don't think I've ever been that cold in my life. And I'm lugging this HUGE laundry basket, which is just awkwardly shaped, and I have my backpack with all the laundry soap weighing down my back...and I'm legitimately FREEZING. I know I said that, but seriously, it was COLD people. And I'm trudging through the snow, and it's up over my ankles, which means, snow in the shoes...not pleasant. It was just an uncomfortably cold experience.
Okay this narrative, it's long, I'm sorry. It was a long day. And if you don't care, just skip this post...seriously I just wanted to update, because my reader base...it's kind of expanded, and I don't want to let anyone down...although endlessly long posts might be a let down. I dunno. Sorry for the random tangent.
So I finally make my way to the Lundstrom and begin my laundry. It costs me $7 to do my laundry. $7! Yeah that's not cool. So I'm upset, because that's a lot of money for a poor college student. Plus I'm on campus, on Thanksgiving, and I'm the only living soul left in my building...not cool. So I load up the washers with all of my clothes and then go to check on the fitness room, but I hear the treadmill running, and I do not like working out with other people...it's just awkward. I don't even go in, I just go check my mailbox, and I'm REALLY creeped out, because the lights are ALL turned off...and yeah, there's a serial killer out there who wants to kill me. Not okay. So I check my mailbox, and there are letters for people who don't even live in our apartment...lame. I go back to my laundry, and fortunately had time to blog-stalk others while I waited for whoever was in the fitness center to leave.
I change out the laundry and then head over to the fitness center again. I can't hear anyone in there, so I pull out my keycard, and let myself in. I drop all of my pocket stuff over by the TV, turn on the TV and watch "Kung-Fu Panda," which just happened to be on TV. It was kind of relaxing, because I wasn't as panicked about the serial killer with background noise and an animated cartoon on TV, it's just harder to be paranoid, when the worst coming at you is a very unrealistic animated leopard who knows karate. Yeah you don't intimidate me, because I know you aren't real. So I finish up working out, go to pick up my stuff, and realize that my keycard is not with the rest of my stuff. Umm, here's where I'm confused. How does my keycard manage to wander off by itself? It doesn't have legs. It shouldn't be capable of just vanishing into thin air. So I search high and low, in the fitness center, and I cannot find it ANYWHERE. Yeah I seriously think it just kinda ran away. Or the serial killer was actually just a kleptomaniac who wasn't trying to kill me at all, but just steal keycards to 201 for some unknown reason...whatevs.
So I go pick up my laundry, accepting the fact that for the second time in a week my keycard has decided to run away from me...I don't know what I did to offend it, but I truly am sorry. I run over to my building, hoping I had left the door to our apartment open, but no such luck. I am locked out. Fortunately, I had my toothbrush, toothpaste, carkeys, belt, and a whole laundry basket full of my clean clothes on hand. Yeah that was nice, because I decided to just run over to my sister's house to change and brush my teeth. I was planning on heading over there anyways, so we could all caravan to Brigham together to have Thanksgiving with her husband's family.
I leave the warmth of my building once again, and trudge through more ankle-numbing snow to my sister's beloved car, which I am borrowing (it's name is Wallace, just so you know who I'm talking to/about). I wander off to Wallace, and open the back door and drop my backpack and laundry in. Then I climb in the front seat and think about starting the car. Wait, it's cold here. There's frost on the windshield. Climb out of the car, with the little scrapey thing, and go at it. THERE'S FROST ON THE INSIDE OF THE WINDSHIELD. Yeah, that's not the worst of it. There's more frost inside than outside, and so, I still can't see when I climb back into my car, and I'm already foreign enough around snow, that I struggled just scraping the outside of the windshield. I'm at a loss as to what to do with the inside. I just sit there with the heater running, but it's not actually running, it's just blowing more frigid air onto my bare legs and wet ankles, and numb fingers...thanks a bunch Wallace. I love you too. I give up waiting, which I find out later from my brother-in-law, was not the best idea in the world.
Fortunately I make it to my sister's in one piece, and I am now okay. The day actually brightens from here on out. Thank goodness, because if that had been the whole day, I would not have been okay by tonight.
Unfortunately, the rest of the day, there's so much that went on, that I don't want to describe it all, but I'll do it in Thanksgiving fashion.
I'm thankful for my sister who lives here in town. Honestly with out her, I woulda been a sitting duck for that serial killer/klepto.
I'm thankful for a car, even if he is temperamental, Wallace is pretty awesome.
I'm thankful for how prepared I was to go without my key. The fact that something told me to grab keys, toothpaste, toothbrush, do my laundry, grab a laptop, my wallet, and everything else I REALLY needed today. I'm grateful that it happened that way.
I'm thankful for a place I had to go without my parents in town. my brother-in-law's family was wicked awesome today. I honestly enjoyed their company as much as the company I used to have when I lived back home.
I'm thankful for my nephews. Especially the baby. He actually laughed quite a bit for me, and I honestly appreciated it so much. Something about baby laughter always cheers you up.
I'm thankful for the delicious food that was there at Thanksgiving. It was so good.
I'm thankful for the chance I had to really see into my older brother's heart. I know he's been going through a tough time since he was released from his mission, but I just never really was accepting of the fact that he didn't know where to go. But he really opened up to me and my sister today, and I feel like we're all a little closer. There's hope for this family yet!
I'm thankful for today. It was an experience worth remembering.
Hope you all had some eventful Thanksgivings as well.

Hey! Motivation! Where'd You Go?

Yeah, see there's a problem here. I don't have 50K words yet, and you kinda ran away. COME BACK!!!

Feeling Like Someone is Stalking Me, and Writing Songs Based Off of My Romantic Life

That David Archuleta kid...yeah I feel like he really does follow my love life. Or else, maybe my love life follows his songs...I'm not sure. When I first heard him, it was the "Crush" song, and that was happening at the same time as when I had a serious crush on a girl in my seminary class, that I knew was never going away, and the lyrics pretty much described my feelings about her.
Then there's the whole "A Little Too Not Over You," yeah that was about the girl out here, during the whole crush time. I wasn't over her, but I wanted to be, and so I tried to move, on, but I just was not over her. Yeah it sucked, but there was that song, describing yet again the exact thing I was feeling.
Next, "Your Eyes Don't Lie" came into my life. Yeah I actually listened to this song with girl out here last summer, when I discovered that we both might just have mutual feelings for one another, and so this song, pretty much described my relationships yet again...it was kind of getting creepy at this point.
Then when we were separated again by most of a country I started listening to his song "To Be With You," and that one described my thoughts flawlessly, once more. And now it's his song "You Can." It's just kinda creepy how well this guy can write about my love life...but hey at least I can really relate to his music.

Story Update

Spoiler alert:

Zelos/Jessica: They fight, and I actually like it. I still am not sure about them anymore, but yeah just kidding. I still freaking love them...a lot. I'm just not sure I like this relationship as much as previous ones. It's slower, which is probably a good thing.
Zak: I feel like you are rash, and need to stop being so dumb...but maybe that's why I like you. You remind me of me...a lot. Honestly though, I finally am almost to the point where I can craft actual scenes with you as a member of the Order...I'm excited.
Iolana: I freaking love you, so much!!! You rock my socks, and I am like your dedicated groupie. No joke. Keep kicking butt and being awesome, because seriously, you are in my eyes, my most intriguing character.
New Characters: Rachel, Liz, and Jeffrey...where did you come from? Seriously, you are so much fun to work with, but I'm just shocked that you came out of nowhere, and so much of the story relies on you three. Thank you for coming into the story, because it needed you.
Akako: Congratulations, you get a bigger part, and you probably won't end up in prison. You might die though...so yeah it's kind of a mess for you still. Sorry, I feel bad about being such a jerk to you, but yeah, you're just one of those characters destined for misery.
Chrono: Still don't like you. You need more developing. Why are you such a jerk?
Lloyd: Holy cow, it's kind of weird creating you the way I am, when I know where you end up going...it's kind of a sad story writing your introduction in the way that I most like you, and knowing that by the end of this story (series I think, so not the end of this book), you'll be nothing like who I think you are. P.S. You and Rachel...I need to work with you so you don't end up the way I picture that happening.

Overall, this whole writing a whole ton of my book in a month, it's a nice feeling having this much done! I know that's not typically Nano Wrimo, but honestly I'm loving the progress I'm making!

Dwarfs

Once upon someone asked me what I knew about dwarfs, and I was disappointed to realize that I did not know very much on this subject. So, like all good, curious writers, I decided to go research dwarfs and what I found was a strange mixture of surprising answers,and a load of new questions that I could not find the answers too.
Did you know that being a dwarf is now a very happy life? Only 1 in 7 dwarfs will admit to honestly being happy. It's kind of a sad statistic, but it's true. Ask any of the other six dwarfs in that set if they are happy. They will tell you that they are not, but that that one over there, the one with the cheesy smile always plastered on his face, he's actually happy.
Did you know that in dwarfish communities one dwarf takes one for the team and does all the sneezing for the entire community. Think about how nice that wold be, unless you are the dwarf who is the designated sneezer. How do they decide this, you might ask? It seems to be a random phenomenon, that occurs once a group of dwarfs have lived together for a week straight. Then randomly they all stop sneezing except for one. SO the question is, if you are a dwarf, would you rather live in a smaller community, where there's a greater chance of you becoming the sneezer, but where as the sneezer you won't get too many sneezes, or would you rather choose a large community, where there's a smaller chance of becoming the sneezer, but if you are, the sneezer, good luck accomplishing anything else in your life.
Really though, dwarfs are rather secretive, and therefore, I came up with many more questions than answers when studying them.
For example, are dwarfish parents psychic? How does a dwarf know what their baby will be like when they grow up? They're dead on 99.999999% of the time when naming their children. It seems like dwarfs have the ability to sense the one-dimensional character that their child will grow up to become, and name him accordingly. Seems pretty impressive to me, unless of course it's an inherited character that they receive, and then it's just lame.
Why has no one discovered a cure for those narcoleptic dwarfs? It's a tragic situation when a dwarf is a narcoleptic, and can do nothing with his life, but sleep the days away. You'd think that with a dwarf named Doc in the community, they might just be able to find some sort of cure for this terrible disease, but alas, they have not managed to succeed yet.
Why are dwarfs so cruel? They're obsessed with labels, and will do nothing but force the other dwarfs to live up to the label they have been tagged with. When a parent names their child Dopey, they are condemning that poor child to a life of ignorance. Not necessarily because there is anything wrong with the child (although that could actually be a possibility, now that I think about it, because let's face it, if your parents were to name you Dopey, their was probably something wrong with them, and so you might just have inherited that as well as your one-dimensional character), but it's the fact that somewhere along the line someone labeled another dwarf as being 'dopey,' and that label stuck, so no one ever bothered to try and help the poor dopey dwarf grow up and actually learn how to do anything.
This is just the surface layer of my studies, but I feel as though an entire new world of research has opened up to me as I study the lives of dwarfs. Wish me luck as I continue my research.

Mind Blown

Okay so I copied this from my friend Rachel who got it somewhere else, but it blew my mind.

Anticipation

Phantom of the opera starts in just over an hour! I'm so stinking excited to go watch it live for the first time ever. Even though it's a high school production, it's gonna be so freaking good. you honestly have no idea how excited I am! This is gonna be such a great show!!! I guess I better start heading out soon, since it's at least 1/2 an hour away, and I don't want to miss a second!!

Watch It. Love It As Much As I Do

Yeah kinda been failing on the writing front the last couple of days, but this should make you happy, and so should the news that I begin writing immediately after this post.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAUMU3QQE6w

Oh Heck. It's Late

It's almost 3 in the morning...true it's Friday, but that's still way late for me to be up...but I finally am at the part in my story where things start developing between Jessica and Zelos. I love Jessica and Zelos. We'll see if I ever actually get to bed tonight.

Going Forward with the Novel

Yesterday was some of the best work I got done ever on my novel. It doesn't read really well yet, but I got a lot of progress in it, and Introduced my most important characters better than I have yet, but I kinda hit a brick wall today. It's only the second day. Not a good sign. I need to write 2000 words in 6 1/2 hours today still. Let's see how today goes.

I Hope

I really hope that that last post did not come off conceited. Most of it was sarcasm. Sorry if that sounded bad. I just am kind of annoyed with that guy right now, because I went out on a limb guessing that it was Christ symbolism and I got a nice big smirk from him...not cool Mr. your retarded. Not cool.

Really? (my whiney posts will from now on be entitled this)

Okay, so today in my Lit Analysis class we were discussing The Great Gatsby. I hated the book in high school, but really am liking it this time. Well apparently I'm the only one...but hey that's cool, I like being kinda unique in book choices. I mean yeah I'm on the Harry Potter bandwagon, but I read other books, books that most people don't, or haven't even heard of. I'm cool with that. Although I like being able to discuss some, so if you've read Gregor the Overlander, The Awakening, The Importance of Being Earnest (kay that's kind of a common one), or A Ring of Endless Light FOR FUN, come talk to me, because not a lot of people talk to me about those, and I love them.
Anyways that's not what I'm complaining about here. Our professor decides to point out three words and ask us what comes to mind. The words: 'wafer,' 'garden,' 'host,'... I mean yeah maybe I was stretching on this one, but honestly Christ symbolism came to mind. Call me crazy, for not thinking 'oh that sounds like a tea party,' but seriously Catholic Communion=wafers, Garden of Gethsemane=garden, and Lord of hosts=Host...Christ, right? Right. That's exactly what my professor was trying to get us to say, but the minute I said it, I could tell everyone in the class was thinking 'oh yeah, right because Gatsby can have Christ symbolism.' Most literature has Christ symbolism, it's easy for people to understand and relate to...
My favorite was one of the three of us guys in the class. He's the 'your retarded' guy if you remember that. Anyways he's pretty anti-religion, and he just smirked when I said that I thought it was Christ symbolism. 'All you Utah Mormons trying to bring Christ into everything.' No. I don't think Gatsby is at all like my Savior. I just recognize that, because I've been taught how to notice it. It's there. Besides if you have a problem with Utah Mormons, why the heck would you choose to come to a school in Utah? Seems like a bad idea, but hey that's just my opinion.
Now for the random rant about this kid. Honestly, he's a good writer, but he's kind of a fail when it comes to analysis, but he has the ability to make you feel like your the dumb one. It's kind of annoying. He had a cow when we read two stories about the men being the bad guys in them, and the women being suppressed. 'How come we always have to read about the big bad man?' Because honestly for pretty much ever we the men have been an oppressive gender who wouldn't allow women to actually be who they wanted to be. So honestly I don't blame women for writing about that when they finally had the ability to break free and be published. Besides with as many lit pieces out there on that topic as there are, signing up for a class called "Literary Analysis," wouldn't you assume that you would be studying about that theme? Maybe it just seems like common sense to me.
Anyways that was my rant for today. I'm sorry that I actually can sort of analyze some books...