Going Home

My mom bought me a ticket home yesterday...as in, me, I'm going home. I won't be here in this valley that I've grown to love so much. I won't be close to my sister. I won't have all of my college friends around. I won't have the temple within walking distance where I can go and pray and work to find solutions to all the things that go wrong with me. I won't have the freedom to come home at any hour of the night I want. I won't get to walk up to campus and bask in the beauty of this place that I chose to come to school. I won't feel connected with the past year of my life at all.
I remember feeling absolutely terrified leaving home almost a year ago. All of my friends were all there was to life. I had a nice car. I had my parents who would buy me food. I had a ward where nearly everyone loved me, trusted me, wished me luck, believed that I would do great things. I had it made.
But then I came to college. I battled depression (like it was a legitimate battle). I questioned everything. I felt like I didn't have a friend in the world. I felt pain. I wanted to go home.
And then suddenly I knew that I couldn't. I saw my mom in October, and knew that things had changed back home, and I knew I was where I was meant to be this year. And I felt comfort. I made friends. I joked, I laughed, I bonded. I learned more about life this year then I have in my past eighteen years put together. I've been able to open up to people that I've only known for weeks, and they know more about me than even my parents do.
I went to Cali with some of my friends L.A. and Jessy. I got pulled over by the cops with other friends Emily, Tyrell, and Ruthie. I made countless A&W runs with 203. I lived with amazing people. I went to concerts. I had bonfires. I flirted a more than healthy amount. I lived near my sister and actually got to spend time with her consistently again.
I learned of my testimony. My own personal testimony. I learned to pray, to have faith that the Lord is aware of me, and is working for my benefit. I learned to love the Book of Mormon. I learned the blessings of tithing.
Am I ready to go home? Is home even home anymore? No...but as Joseph B. Wirthlin once said. "Come what may, and love it." So am I excited to go? No.
But when the time comes as I leave, it'll hurt, but there's more adventure beyond. I have a mission to serve, and then I'll be back here.
One day, I'll be home again, because this, right here, Cache Valley. This is home.