My Confession

I have the hardest time ever being able to voice my emotions. I don't like to talk about my true feelings, but I love talking to other people about their feelings. Sometimes, though you just need to talk about your real feelings, and even though I know you don't even know this blog exists, you need to understand what you are to me.
I don't even know how many times I've told myself I'm over you. I don't know if you're stringing me along. I never get to see you. And yet I stand here waiting for one sincere nod from you, and I'm ready to take jump. I love you. I want to shout it out on the housetops, but I'm afraid you don't feel the same way about me, and so I hold back, afraid that it will ruin everything if I say what I feel.
I know it's cliche, but it's true, you honestly have made me a better person. My world exploded when I thought you were totally indifferent to me, because I can't imagine my life without your influence. If you move on when I leave on my mission, I will have to accept that, and take God's help as I try to move on, but I don't want to regret not telling you that I honestly love you. That would be the biggest regret of my life, wondering if only I had had the courage to admit what you mean to me, we might have ended up happy together forever.