It's not that I'm unafraid... heck, I'm terrified. There are a thousand excuses that keep hurtling themselves into my path, and if I stop and examine them long enough I start to get scared that I might be making the wrong step. But I know, I KNOW that there's one reason to go, and that's where I have to place whatever faith I have, which sometimes feels like it's smaller than that famous mustard seed.
I'm serving a mission because I love my brothers and sisters across the world, and in particular, the Carlsbad, California area. I don't know them personally, yet, but I want them all to have the happiness I have in this gospel. I want to teach of our Heavenly Father's love. I want to testify that I know what happens after this life, that I know that families are forever, that Jesus Christ is my Savior, that He has suffered for my sins, and he has suffered for their sins.
It's two years of my life, and at the time when half of my brain is screaming about how incredibly long that amount of time is, the other half is convincing me that it's not enough time. Two years is nothing, can I even do anything in two years that's worthwhile to the Kingdom of God? Will I be good enough to be able to get everything I can out of those two years, or will I have to grow up so much in those two years, that I won't even be able to do the things the Lord would have me do?
I think that's what scares me. I feel inadequate. I'm kind of scrawny, awkward, annoying...
But then I remember that the Lord prepares and strengthens those He has called, and He has called me. He wants me to be a missionary, and in the next two years, when I need Him, He'll be there for me.
When I look at it like that, the fear flees, and I can't wait to go. There is no greater joy than doing the work of the Lord. That's where I've put my faith.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
I Miss...
The spotlight... the hours of rehearsal just for the chance to say that one word, be in that one scene, sing that one song in the chorus, dance that one number in the background of the scene... the friendships and showmances... the tyrannical directors who make life as miserable as possible... the church kids who knew they were better than me... the warm-ups... the music... the sets... the blocking... I miss the stage.
I wasn't ever really a great actor. I used to think that my director didn't give me main parts because she hated me. I still believe she hated me, but it was probably my lack of talent, my lack of any real emotion behind what I was saying. I'd like to think I was better now, but I need a chance to be on stage once more, to prove to myself that I can feel what I say, that I really do know how to act. It's not memorizing lines and blocking, step forward, kiss her forehead, say some meaningless drivel about how you'll get through this, when you don't even understand what you're talking about. It's more than pacing because her line is "Stop pacing." It's knowing that you're pacing because your entire life is about to fall down around you. It's pacing, because if you don't pace, you don't have anything to do but sit there and think about the horrible mess you're in. It's pacing, because you can't break down, you have to be strong, because she needs you to be strong. You aren't allowed to break-down, so you pace.
If Mrs. Davis had told me that, I wonder if I would have gotten it. She never did though, she just told me to pace. "No not like that, faster. More desperate. No, it needs to be more manly. Faster. Faster. Faster." You wouldn't kiss her forehead, that's not the relationship you had.
It's like that with every role I had. I look back and berate myself. "You love her, she's been your wife for years now. She's never broken down like this before. WHAT IS WRONG? She needs to hear those terms of endearment, she needs to know she's safe in your arms. No matter what happens, you'll be the one to protect her, even if you are some poor bar-owner, who gets back-talked to by the serving girl. None of that matters, it's up to you to ensure that your wife is safe."
There's more to it than vaguely thinking, "Wow, this would really suck... I think I should look angry." It's becoming so certain that you know this person, that you know how they would react. It's like being a writer. It's learning who and what these people are, what really matters to them, what can fall away, and what would be too much for them to handle. It's about being unafraid to show the pieces of yourself that you hide, because it's those pieces that you have in common with who you are trying to portray, and it's those pieces that make what you're doing believable.
I realized last night at the high school's drama fest that I still have a lot of feelings that I just had to consider. The drama department defined my entire high school existence, so going back opened me up to everything I felt in high school... I miss it...
I miss the environment that was so stressful, so harsh, so dramatic, that I thrived there. Because for some reason, I have this fantastic ability to thrive on misery... not that that's good, but it comes in handy. And it wasn't all bad... But I miss the bad... I miss the good too, but I miss the growth from the bad.
I wasn't ever really a great actor. I used to think that my director didn't give me main parts because she hated me. I still believe she hated me, but it was probably my lack of talent, my lack of any real emotion behind what I was saying. I'd like to think I was better now, but I need a chance to be on stage once more, to prove to myself that I can feel what I say, that I really do know how to act. It's not memorizing lines and blocking, step forward, kiss her forehead, say some meaningless drivel about how you'll get through this, when you don't even understand what you're talking about. It's more than pacing because her line is "Stop pacing." It's knowing that you're pacing because your entire life is about to fall down around you. It's pacing, because if you don't pace, you don't have anything to do but sit there and think about the horrible mess you're in. It's pacing, because you can't break down, you have to be strong, because she needs you to be strong. You aren't allowed to break-down, so you pace.
If Mrs. Davis had told me that, I wonder if I would have gotten it. She never did though, she just told me to pace. "No not like that, faster. More desperate. No, it needs to be more manly. Faster. Faster. Faster." You wouldn't kiss her forehead, that's not the relationship you had.
It's like that with every role I had. I look back and berate myself. "You love her, she's been your wife for years now. She's never broken down like this before. WHAT IS WRONG? She needs to hear those terms of endearment, she needs to know she's safe in your arms. No matter what happens, you'll be the one to protect her, even if you are some poor bar-owner, who gets back-talked to by the serving girl. None of that matters, it's up to you to ensure that your wife is safe."
There's more to it than vaguely thinking, "Wow, this would really suck... I think I should look angry." It's becoming so certain that you know this person, that you know how they would react. It's like being a writer. It's learning who and what these people are, what really matters to them, what can fall away, and what would be too much for them to handle. It's about being unafraid to show the pieces of yourself that you hide, because it's those pieces that you have in common with who you are trying to portray, and it's those pieces that make what you're doing believable.
I realized last night at the high school's drama fest that I still have a lot of feelings that I just had to consider. The drama department defined my entire high school existence, so going back opened me up to everything I felt in high school... I miss it...
I miss the environment that was so stressful, so harsh, so dramatic, that I thrived there. Because for some reason, I have this fantastic ability to thrive on misery... not that that's good, but it comes in handy. And it wasn't all bad... But I miss the bad... I miss the good too, but I miss the growth from the bad.
Friday, October 28, 2011
A Closed Chapter
Life is good! No wait, good doesn't even begin to describe how spectacular, wonderful, magnificent, incredible, indescribably fantastic life is. It's not that life was bad before today, but for the first time I feel almost entirely emotionally healthy. I mean, yes I'm still a basket case, and yes I'll probably have to break out Taylor Swift, Moulin Rouge, and gallons upon gallons of ice cream through the rest of my life, but right now, I feel exceptional. It's that moment when everything falls into place. When I've been clinging onto something I knew I would lose, and suddenly, I am able to just look at it head on, and realize that it's time to let go.
But it's more than just being able to let go. Because I thought I had let go before, but now I can look back and see things the way they actually were, not gilded with the wonder of a love-sick, hopeless romantic who was putting all of his hopes into you. But not looking at things as a crushed, heartbroken wretched piece of a man who could only see every smile and compliment as some cruel feminine game to be played whenever boredom would strike you.
Finally it all seems healthy. I can look back, and acknowledge that we had fun. I can acknowledge that with you, when things seemed good I was happy, and when things seemed bad I was miserable. But I'm not relying on it anymore, because I don't need to. I don't need you, you don't need me, and neither of us even really want each other anymore.
And finally I don't hopelessly love you, and I don't callously hate you. I'm not even indifferent to you. I just wish you the best, and for the first time realize that it's time to strike out on my own. Thanks for helping mold me into the man I am, and thanks for making everything about this so easy.
But it's more than just being able to let go. Because I thought I had let go before, but now I can look back and see things the way they actually were, not gilded with the wonder of a love-sick, hopeless romantic who was putting all of his hopes into you. But not looking at things as a crushed, heartbroken wretched piece of a man who could only see every smile and compliment as some cruel feminine game to be played whenever boredom would strike you.
Finally it all seems healthy. I can look back, and acknowledge that we had fun. I can acknowledge that with you, when things seemed good I was happy, and when things seemed bad I was miserable. But I'm not relying on it anymore, because I don't need to. I don't need you, you don't need me, and neither of us even really want each other anymore.
And finally I don't hopelessly love you, and I don't callously hate you. I'm not even indifferent to you. I just wish you the best, and for the first time realize that it's time to strike out on my own. Thanks for helping mold me into the man I am, and thanks for making everything about this so easy.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
How I Cure a Bad Mood
*Taylor Swift
*Pride and Prejudice/Moulin Rouge
*French Silk ice cream
...Apparently I am a teenage girl... that was the awkward discovery.
*Pride and Prejudice/Moulin Rouge
*French Silk ice cream
...Apparently I am a teenage girl... that was the awkward discovery.
I'm Goin' on a Mission... In Three Months.
I got a letter from the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints a couple of weeks ago. The news is that I'll be leaving to serve a two-year mission in Carlsbad, California December 21 of this year. I'm completely STOKED about this! The more I think about my mission, the more I am excited about it. Here's some reasons for me to be completely psyched:
-I'll finally be out on a mission!!! 19 years of my life have led up to this moment, and now I'm finally on the verge of taking the next MAJOR step in my life.
-I'll get to spend two years in the service of my fellowman, and the service of my God. What better way is there to spend the next to years then being completely devoted to service to others?
-My mission is English-speaking. English is basically my life, and as awesome as it could have been to learn another language, I'm really grateful that I can serve English-speaking. I feel like it'll help me make more connections with other people...at least I'm hoping this.
-I got a letter from my mission president, and he said we needed to do our best to look professional. Okay, I got this. All through my high school drama experience my teacher told me that I was learning how to present myself professionally (she had no faith in my actual acting abilities...)
-I'll be on the ocean front, and although I will want to go to the beach, just seeing the ocean is always inspiring to me.
Plus there are like 109209183072198426892 other reasons to be excited about Carlsbad, some of them spiritual, some of them more like "oh hey, spring break 2013, I can head right on back"... but yeah, it's gon' be good.
-I'll finally be out on a mission!!! 19 years of my life have led up to this moment, and now I'm finally on the verge of taking the next MAJOR step in my life.
-I'll get to spend two years in the service of my fellowman, and the service of my God. What better way is there to spend the next to years then being completely devoted to service to others?
-My mission is English-speaking. English is basically my life, and as awesome as it could have been to learn another language, I'm really grateful that I can serve English-speaking. I feel like it'll help me make more connections with other people...at least I'm hoping this.
-I got a letter from my mission president, and he said we needed to do our best to look professional. Okay, I got this. All through my high school drama experience my teacher told me that I was learning how to present myself professionally (she had no faith in my actual acting abilities...)
-I'll be on the ocean front, and although I will want to go to the beach, just seeing the ocean is always inspiring to me.
Plus there are like 109209183072198426892 other reasons to be excited about Carlsbad, some of them spiritual, some of them more like "oh hey, spring break 2013, I can head right on back"... but yeah, it's gon' be good.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Falling Into Place
It's been rough...I hate saying that because I sound like a whiner...but I don't want to lie. This summer has been, at times, absolutely infuriating. But I've learned something from all of the stuff I have been fighting. The valuable lesson: The Lord is aware of me, He's aware of you, He's aware of all of us.
It's been crazy this summer. I've been hunting for a job with a total of one interview at a place where I was told they would hire anyone... but the thing is that I didn't get the job. It was a call center, so I mean not OVERLY bummed, but still disappointing. I've been trying to start my mission papers since May, with little to zero success... And to top it off I lost contact with one of my best friends since the day school got out.
But the Lord was aware. Every day I started thinking "I can't take much more of this," something would go right that day. I would roll out of bed and go to Institute and be taught something that I needed to hear...something that the Lord prompted my teacher to say for me. I would be sitting moping to myself and get an invite to go do something that would get my mind off the spiral of how miserable I was. The Lord has spent this entire acting through other people in my life to show me how aware He is of me. And even though I didn't handle things as well as I should have, (I have a horrible habit of murmuring, when I should just have the faith to do what is required of me), He is blessing me. Everything is finally falling into place.
No I still don't have a job, or a mission call, but there has been progress, which has been yet another witness of the Lord's awareness of me. I have an appointment with my bishop tomorrow night at six, which means the papers will be started soon. Somehow my best friend started talking to me again, and even though I want to hold a grudge about the lack of communication between us, I can't, and I would feel wrong about it. And with that, there's some definition of what we are, which is amazing now. I didn't want to leave with everything so bad between us, and things are finally giving me a sense of closure there, which is much needed.
Just know, the Lord is aware. He will help you when you don't think you can hold on anymore, He'll show you how you can.
It's been crazy this summer. I've been hunting for a job with a total of one interview at a place where I was told they would hire anyone... but the thing is that I didn't get the job. It was a call center, so I mean not OVERLY bummed, but still disappointing. I've been trying to start my mission papers since May, with little to zero success... And to top it off I lost contact with one of my best friends since the day school got out.
But the Lord was aware. Every day I started thinking "I can't take much more of this," something would go right that day. I would roll out of bed and go to Institute and be taught something that I needed to hear...something that the Lord prompted my teacher to say for me. I would be sitting moping to myself and get an invite to go do something that would get my mind off the spiral of how miserable I was. The Lord has spent this entire acting through other people in my life to show me how aware He is of me. And even though I didn't handle things as well as I should have, (I have a horrible habit of murmuring, when I should just have the faith to do what is required of me), He is blessing me. Everything is finally falling into place.
No I still don't have a job, or a mission call, but there has been progress, which has been yet another witness of the Lord's awareness of me. I have an appointment with my bishop tomorrow night at six, which means the papers will be started soon. Somehow my best friend started talking to me again, and even though I want to hold a grudge about the lack of communication between us, I can't, and I would feel wrong about it. And with that, there's some definition of what we are, which is amazing now. I didn't want to leave with everything so bad between us, and things are finally giving me a sense of closure there, which is much needed.
Just know, the Lord is aware. He will help you when you don't think you can hold on anymore, He'll show you how you can.
"The Quality of Our Lives"
"It's an interesting phrase. I suspect most people think of this concept in terms of comforts and conveniences they enjoy. But I prefer to think that the quality of our lives has more to do with substance than style. A quality life is one that positively influences others and makes the world around it a better place in which to live. A quality life is one that is constantly growing, expanding its horizons and enlarging its borders. A quality life is one that is filled with love and loyalty, patience and perseverance, kindness and compassion. A quality life is one that is based on eternal potential and not confined to this life only. A quality life is a life well-lived." - Elder M. Russel Ballard ("Our Search for Happiness")
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Going Home
My mom bought me a ticket home yesterday...as in, me, I'm going home. I won't be here in this valley that I've grown to love so much. I won't be close to my sister. I won't have all of my college friends around. I won't have the temple within walking distance where I can go and pray and work to find solutions to all the things that go wrong with me. I won't have the freedom to come home at any hour of the night I want. I won't get to walk up to campus and bask in the beauty of this place that I chose to come to school. I won't feel connected with the past year of my life at all.
I remember feeling absolutely terrified leaving home almost a year ago. All of my friends were all there was to life. I had a nice car. I had my parents who would buy me food. I had a ward where nearly everyone loved me, trusted me, wished me luck, believed that I would do great things. I had it made.
But then I came to college. I battled depression (like it was a legitimate battle). I questioned everything. I felt like I didn't have a friend in the world. I felt pain. I wanted to go home.
And then suddenly I knew that I couldn't. I saw my mom in October, and knew that things had changed back home, and I knew I was where I was meant to be this year. And I felt comfort. I made friends. I joked, I laughed, I bonded. I learned more about life this year then I have in my past eighteen years put together. I've been able to open up to people that I've only known for weeks, and they know more about me than even my parents do.
I went to Cali with some of my friends L.A. and Jessy. I got pulled over by the cops with other friends Emily, Tyrell, and Ruthie. I made countless A&W runs with 203. I lived with amazing people. I went to concerts. I had bonfires. I flirted a more than healthy amount. I lived near my sister and actually got to spend time with her consistently again.
I learned of my testimony. My own personal testimony. I learned to pray, to have faith that the Lord is aware of me, and is working for my benefit. I learned to love the Book of Mormon. I learned the blessings of tithing.
Am I ready to go home? Is home even home anymore? No...but as Joseph B. Wirthlin once said. "Come what may, and love it." So am I excited to go? No.
But when the time comes as I leave, it'll hurt, but there's more adventure beyond. I have a mission to serve, and then I'll be back here.
One day, I'll be home again, because this, right here, Cache Valley. This is home.
I remember feeling absolutely terrified leaving home almost a year ago. All of my friends were all there was to life. I had a nice car. I had my parents who would buy me food. I had a ward where nearly everyone loved me, trusted me, wished me luck, believed that I would do great things. I had it made.
But then I came to college. I battled depression (like it was a legitimate battle). I questioned everything. I felt like I didn't have a friend in the world. I felt pain. I wanted to go home.
And then suddenly I knew that I couldn't. I saw my mom in October, and knew that things had changed back home, and I knew I was where I was meant to be this year. And I felt comfort. I made friends. I joked, I laughed, I bonded. I learned more about life this year then I have in my past eighteen years put together. I've been able to open up to people that I've only known for weeks, and they know more about me than even my parents do.
I went to Cali with some of my friends L.A. and Jessy. I got pulled over by the cops with other friends Emily, Tyrell, and Ruthie. I made countless A&W runs with 203. I lived with amazing people. I went to concerts. I had bonfires. I flirted a more than healthy amount. I lived near my sister and actually got to spend time with her consistently again.
I learned of my testimony. My own personal testimony. I learned to pray, to have faith that the Lord is aware of me, and is working for my benefit. I learned to love the Book of Mormon. I learned the blessings of tithing.
Am I ready to go home? Is home even home anymore? No...but as Joseph B. Wirthlin once said. "Come what may, and love it." So am I excited to go? No.
But when the time comes as I leave, it'll hurt, but there's more adventure beyond. I have a mission to serve, and then I'll be back here.
One day, I'll be home again, because this, right here, Cache Valley. This is home.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Getting Tired
Why have I always told myself that I can't be happy in the here and now. It's always been that my happiness rests in the future. In high school, my happiness was entirely dependent upon me getting out and moving on and going to college. During my freshman year in college, happiness was only attainable when I had her. Now this summer, happiness will happen when I find a job, when I have her, when I leave on my mission, when I go through the temple, when...it just goes on and on. But there's never a thought that I can be truly and indescribably happy now.
I've spent so much of my life defining happiness by whether or not I had someone to love. That's dumb. I can't define my happiness by someone else, that shouldn't happen. I should be able to be happy with or without someone else, because I should have the faith that my happiness, that any true happiness comes from a relationship with the Lord. Yet, I struggle being able to let myself be happy.
I'll be happy when I'm not as scrawny as I am...I'll be happy when I have more money...I'll be happy when I've finished my novel...I'll be happy when I'm published...I'll be happy when I have more friends...I'll be happy when whatever is that ultimate goal is achieved. But I can't be happy when I'm still trying to achieve that goal.
Those are lies. Life is about finding the happiness in the journey, because the thing is, everything is a journey. There is never an ultimate achievement, because you have to keep working always. I wanna be in shape. If you get in shape, guess what, if you don't work to stay in shape, you fall away from being in shape, and then you're back at square one. If you want more friends, then you work at it, you have to strengthen those friendships, and there's never a moment when you can just be done strengthening a friendship. The moment that happens, the friendship begins to deteriorate. If my goal is to finish my novel, that's achievable, but then there's revision, publishing, and then there's more novels in my head that want to get out. I'll never be able to stop writing. If you want to get that one person who holds your heart, it's a journey, not a destination. Once you get them, you can't just stop working for it, you've got to keep strengthening that forever...or for as long as you last.
So the real thing I have to learn is to find the joy in the journey. Define joy by strengthening the relationship with my Heavenly Father daily, and by doing the things that will make me happy. Finding joy in strengthening relationships, in working out, in, writing, in preparing for the temple and my mission.
I've spent so much of my life defining happiness by whether or not I had someone to love. That's dumb. I can't define my happiness by someone else, that shouldn't happen. I should be able to be happy with or without someone else, because I should have the faith that my happiness, that any true happiness comes from a relationship with the Lord. Yet, I struggle being able to let myself be happy.
I'll be happy when I'm not as scrawny as I am...I'll be happy when I have more money...I'll be happy when I've finished my novel...I'll be happy when I'm published...I'll be happy when I have more friends...I'll be happy when whatever is that ultimate goal is achieved. But I can't be happy when I'm still trying to achieve that goal.
Those are lies. Life is about finding the happiness in the journey, because the thing is, everything is a journey. There is never an ultimate achievement, because you have to keep working always. I wanna be in shape. If you get in shape, guess what, if you don't work to stay in shape, you fall away from being in shape, and then you're back at square one. If you want more friends, then you work at it, you have to strengthen those friendships, and there's never a moment when you can just be done strengthening a friendship. The moment that happens, the friendship begins to deteriorate. If my goal is to finish my novel, that's achievable, but then there's revision, publishing, and then there's more novels in my head that want to get out. I'll never be able to stop writing. If you want to get that one person who holds your heart, it's a journey, not a destination. Once you get them, you can't just stop working for it, you've got to keep strengthening that forever...or for as long as you last.
So the real thing I have to learn is to find the joy in the journey. Define joy by strengthening the relationship with my Heavenly Father daily, and by doing the things that will make me happy. Finding joy in strengthening relationships, in working out, in, writing, in preparing for the temple and my mission.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Favorite Writing Music:
Sara Bareilles's album "Kaleidoscope Heart."
Seriously, I love this album so much. I've had it for a while, but didn't start listening to it until this week, and I absolutely love it. Maybe it's the fact that a lot of the songs remind me of my characters, or maybe it's because I'm madly in love with Sara Bareilles herself...I just don't know.
Katy Perry used to be my number one artist, and I was going to stand by that until the end, but suddenly Sara Bareilles has climbed in and taken that spot. Just you know for certain other writer friends, if you're looking for music *coughkayticough* it might be something to look into.
If you wanna look them up on youtube, my favorites are:
"Kaleidocope Heart."
"Uncharted"
"The Light"
"King of Anything"
"Hold my Heart"
"Gonna Get Over You"
"Breathe Again"
The others are good, but those are my favorites (and that is over fifty percent of the album). I don't know many of her "Little Voice" album, but "Gravity" is well done. And if you can find the One Republic version of "Come Home" Featuring Sara Barielles, listen to it. I love it so much.
Seriously, I love this album so much. I've had it for a while, but didn't start listening to it until this week, and I absolutely love it. Maybe it's the fact that a lot of the songs remind me of my characters, or maybe it's because I'm madly in love with Sara Bareilles herself...I just don't know.
Katy Perry used to be my number one artist, and I was going to stand by that until the end, but suddenly Sara Bareilles has climbed in and taken that spot. Just you know for certain other writer friends, if you're looking for music *coughkayticough* it might be something to look into.
If you wanna look them up on youtube, my favorites are:
"Kaleidocope Heart."
"Uncharted"
"The Light"
"King of Anything"
"Hold my Heart"
"Gonna Get Over You"
"Breathe Again"
The others are good, but those are my favorites (and that is over fifty percent of the album). I don't know many of her "Little Voice" album, but "Gravity" is well done. And if you can find the One Republic version of "Come Home" Featuring Sara Barielles, listen to it. I love it so much.
Thankful Heart
*I have one amazing family. We had our struggles this week being all together 24/7...but we did it. And we did well...at least I think we did.
*I have the gospel in my life. I haven't always thought of it so much as a blessing, sometimes it's seemed like a burden, but truly, I owe all that I am to this gospel.
*On that note, I am part of a church that so much was sacrificed for so that I could be here in my comfortable air-conditioned apartment, in comfortable store bought clothes, on a brand new couch, with electricity, and a laptop. I am not crossing the plains to a place that I have never seen before. I am here at school, in this day and age.
*I have awesome friends! They love me, even as they see my stupidness, as they see my weakness, as they see my shortcomings, they forgive, and allow me to come back to them, and welcome me back into their group.
*I have the atonement in my life. Even as I know that I have fallen short of what I should be, I take comfort in the fact that the Lord Jesus Christ suffered for me, my pains, my sins, and my emotional problems. And with that suffering I can return to Him. With that suffering I know that there is always someone who will understand EVERYTHING I am going through, utterly and completely. What more could I ask for?
*I am thankful for a roommate who I will call one of my best friends. It's amazing how well we've meshed this semester, and it's just felt like one extended hang-out. It's nice.
*I am thankful for the opportunities the Lord has given me to grow up. When traveling with my grandma and my brother, it was kinda scary to be trying to lead and act as an adult getting us through Salt Lake, through the airport, and onto Nauvoo, but the Lord strengthened me and made me able to bear it.
*I am thankful for the opportunity I had this last week to not only spend time in Nauvoo, but to spend a couple hours on Temple Square. And while at Temple Square meeting the sister missionaries there, who were so friendly, and so encouraging as they heard I was preparing to join them in the service of our Lord.
*I am thankful for the chance I had to meet the grandmother of one of my greatest friends while in Nauvoo. It was nice to hear that she had heard all about me, just a nice reassurance, that I felt I did mean something, maybe not everything I want to mean to her, but something.
*I am thankful for Joseph Smith. The world may mock him, but being in Nauvoo, seeing his home, seeing his grave, seeing Carthage, hearing the stories, seeing the temple, watching the Joseph Smith movie...all of it just made me appreciate everything this man did for the cause of our Lord.
*I am thankful for a car this summer, there have been complications with it, but overall, it's just nice to have that sitting out front.
*I am thankful for the friends that have come and visited, showing me that I do indeed matter to them, and that they do miss me.
*I am thankful for the safety of my friends this past year. I am thankful that although all of my Alabama friends were in danger during the storms, they are okay. And I am thankful that this past week that other friends remained safe, even in scary times.
*I am thankful for the scriptures, I don't study them as much as I should, and I will improve. But I am thankful for how well life goes when I spend time with them, and the things that they teach me when I need their guidance in my life (which is every day).
*I am thankful for the food that Michael and I have this summer. How grateful I am for the friends who didn't let us go hungry this summer.
*I am thankful for my mother. There are no women in this world I respect more than her. She's done everything she can for me, and she now stands willing to help, but able to let me go, and watch me attempt to make it on my own.
*I am thankful for my father. Although I've struggled some over the years with him. He has a sense of humor that I will always appreciate (sometimes much more than others). He has shown me what it means to give service, and to magnify the Priesthood.
*I am thankful for the Priesthood which the Lord has trusted me to hold. I am thankful for the service it allows me to provide, and I am thankful for the wonderful young women in my life who have called upon me to use this Priesthood to bless them. I am thankful for their reliance on me, so that I could stay worthy to use it.
*I am thankful for the children in my family. Watching them, playing with them, holding them, all of it, it's made me so excited to have a family of my own someday. To have children, and to try to raise them with my future wife to the best of my ability.
*I am thankful for my future wife. I don't know who you are, but whoever you are, you have shaped my life a great deal this past couple of years, and I hope that you will be as happy with me, as I have confidence I will be happy with you.
*I am thankful to be preparing to serve a mission. The Lord wants me there, and I want to be there. I want to serve people, I want to teach the gospel, and watch as the change that comes from the knowledge of this gospel comes into them.
*I am thankful for three older brothers who have served missions, and for the stories they tell me of them, and the examples they have set.
*I am thankful for music in my life. I love the sounds of music, and I can't imagine my life without it.
*I am thankful for the bishops I have had in my life. Bishop Mumford, Bishop Wilding, Bishop Cannon, Bishop Stratton, Bishop Nichols, Bishop Baugh, and my new Bishop (who I have only met once, so the name has slipped my mind). I see some of the sacrifices you make, and it inspires me. I see the care you have for me, even though you don't know me as well as a lot of other people, and it is amazing. I have so much gratitude for you.
*I am thankful for the prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He truly speaks to Heavenly Father and receives revelation for the entire church, as well as the entire world. There are so many things he has said that have helped me in times of need.
*I am thankful for all of the apostles and prophets from all the eras of this earth. They have set an example of giving your life to the Lord, which is one that I need to follow.
*I am thankful for Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, who is one of the men I respect most in this world. He is so full of the spirit, and I can't help but excitedly anticipate every time I will hear him speak to the church.
*I am thankful for the roommates I had this last year. Bryce, Ricky, Mitch, L.A., Tyrell, Sean, Michael, and Jordan. Each has been a particular blessing to me in times that they will have no idea. I am thankful for the friendships that we developed in Jones 201, and I am thankful for the examples set be each of .
*I am thankful for the young women in my life who encourage me to be better, by example, by word, and even by their disappointment when I don't live up to what I should be. I am thankful for the person they see me having the capability to become, and hope to someday meet their expectations.
*I am thankful for the Lord's guidance in my life. The comfort He has given me in knowing when I am where I need to be, both in my English classes, on Utah State campus, with my good friends, in my new apartment, in Jones, and in Institute. I am thankful that he is mindful of me at this time of my life, when I have so many choices to make, and I am thankful that He has helped me with these choices.
*I am thankful for the Lord as he helps me in my writing. I may not be the best writer, but the Lord blesses me with ideas that I thoroughly enjoy writing.
*I am thankful for my country, and for the freedoms I have here. I am thankful for a country where the Lord could restore His gospel to the earth.
*I am thankful for the Institute classes I have attended. I was never good at it, but I got the things I needed out of the ones I went to, and know that I missed opportunities for growth when I skipped. And so I am thankful for the opportunity to try once more this summer, and continue trying after my mission.
*I am thankful for the friends I have who are serving or preparing to serve their missions. I know that they will be incredible in their callings, and I pray that I will be able to do as well as I know they will.
*I am thankful for the passion that the Lord has blessed me with. I know that through this passion, the Lord will be able to lead me, as long as I direct the passion towards the things that He wishes for me.
*I am thankful for the trust my friends have in me. I am thankful for their ability to turn to me in times of need, and I am thankful for the Spirit which helps me as I try to bring comfort to them.
*I am thankful for so many things, the Lord has truly blessed my life, and I an thankful for the ability I have to sit down and see some of them, and acknowledge the Lord in these blessings, and as I do so, have a sense of bliss come into my life.
The Lord is aware of each of us, and He blesses our lives beyond our comprehension.
*I have the gospel in my life. I haven't always thought of it so much as a blessing, sometimes it's seemed like a burden, but truly, I owe all that I am to this gospel.
*On that note, I am part of a church that so much was sacrificed for so that I could be here in my comfortable air-conditioned apartment, in comfortable store bought clothes, on a brand new couch, with electricity, and a laptop. I am not crossing the plains to a place that I have never seen before. I am here at school, in this day and age.
*I have awesome friends! They love me, even as they see my stupidness, as they see my weakness, as they see my shortcomings, they forgive, and allow me to come back to them, and welcome me back into their group.
*I have the atonement in my life. Even as I know that I have fallen short of what I should be, I take comfort in the fact that the Lord Jesus Christ suffered for me, my pains, my sins, and my emotional problems. And with that suffering I can return to Him. With that suffering I know that there is always someone who will understand EVERYTHING I am going through, utterly and completely. What more could I ask for?
*I am thankful for a roommate who I will call one of my best friends. It's amazing how well we've meshed this semester, and it's just felt like one extended hang-out. It's nice.
*I am thankful for the opportunities the Lord has given me to grow up. When traveling with my grandma and my brother, it was kinda scary to be trying to lead and act as an adult getting us through Salt Lake, through the airport, and onto Nauvoo, but the Lord strengthened me and made me able to bear it.
*I am thankful for the opportunity I had this last week to not only spend time in Nauvoo, but to spend a couple hours on Temple Square. And while at Temple Square meeting the sister missionaries there, who were so friendly, and so encouraging as they heard I was preparing to join them in the service of our Lord.
*I am thankful for the chance I had to meet the grandmother of one of my greatest friends while in Nauvoo. It was nice to hear that she had heard all about me, just a nice reassurance, that I felt I did mean something, maybe not everything I want to mean to her, but something.
*I am thankful for Joseph Smith. The world may mock him, but being in Nauvoo, seeing his home, seeing his grave, seeing Carthage, hearing the stories, seeing the temple, watching the Joseph Smith movie...all of it just made me appreciate everything this man did for the cause of our Lord.
*I am thankful for a car this summer, there have been complications with it, but overall, it's just nice to have that sitting out front.
*I am thankful for the friends that have come and visited, showing me that I do indeed matter to them, and that they do miss me.
*I am thankful for the safety of my friends this past year. I am thankful that although all of my Alabama friends were in danger during the storms, they are okay. And I am thankful that this past week that other friends remained safe, even in scary times.
*I am thankful for the scriptures, I don't study them as much as I should, and I will improve. But I am thankful for how well life goes when I spend time with them, and the things that they teach me when I need their guidance in my life (which is every day).
*I am thankful for the food that Michael and I have this summer. How grateful I am for the friends who didn't let us go hungry this summer.
*I am thankful for my mother. There are no women in this world I respect more than her. She's done everything she can for me, and she now stands willing to help, but able to let me go, and watch me attempt to make it on my own.
*I am thankful for my father. Although I've struggled some over the years with him. He has a sense of humor that I will always appreciate (sometimes much more than others). He has shown me what it means to give service, and to magnify the Priesthood.
*I am thankful for the Priesthood which the Lord has trusted me to hold. I am thankful for the service it allows me to provide, and I am thankful for the wonderful young women in my life who have called upon me to use this Priesthood to bless them. I am thankful for their reliance on me, so that I could stay worthy to use it.
*I am thankful for the children in my family. Watching them, playing with them, holding them, all of it, it's made me so excited to have a family of my own someday. To have children, and to try to raise them with my future wife to the best of my ability.
*I am thankful for my future wife. I don't know who you are, but whoever you are, you have shaped my life a great deal this past couple of years, and I hope that you will be as happy with me, as I have confidence I will be happy with you.
*I am thankful to be preparing to serve a mission. The Lord wants me there, and I want to be there. I want to serve people, I want to teach the gospel, and watch as the change that comes from the knowledge of this gospel comes into them.
*I am thankful for three older brothers who have served missions, and for the stories they tell me of them, and the examples they have set.
*I am thankful for music in my life. I love the sounds of music, and I can't imagine my life without it.
*I am thankful for the bishops I have had in my life. Bishop Mumford, Bishop Wilding, Bishop Cannon, Bishop Stratton, Bishop Nichols, Bishop Baugh, and my new Bishop (who I have only met once, so the name has slipped my mind). I see some of the sacrifices you make, and it inspires me. I see the care you have for me, even though you don't know me as well as a lot of other people, and it is amazing. I have so much gratitude for you.
*I am thankful for the prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He truly speaks to Heavenly Father and receives revelation for the entire church, as well as the entire world. There are so many things he has said that have helped me in times of need.
*I am thankful for all of the apostles and prophets from all the eras of this earth. They have set an example of giving your life to the Lord, which is one that I need to follow.
*I am thankful for Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, who is one of the men I respect most in this world. He is so full of the spirit, and I can't help but excitedly anticipate every time I will hear him speak to the church.
*I am thankful for the roommates I had this last year. Bryce, Ricky, Mitch, L.A., Tyrell, Sean, Michael, and Jordan. Each has been a particular blessing to me in times that they will have no idea. I am thankful for the friendships that we developed in Jones 201, and I am thankful for the examples set be each of .
*I am thankful for the young women in my life who encourage me to be better, by example, by word, and even by their disappointment when I don't live up to what I should be. I am thankful for the person they see me having the capability to become, and hope to someday meet their expectations.
*I am thankful for the Lord's guidance in my life. The comfort He has given me in knowing when I am where I need to be, both in my English classes, on Utah State campus, with my good friends, in my new apartment, in Jones, and in Institute. I am thankful that he is mindful of me at this time of my life, when I have so many choices to make, and I am thankful that He has helped me with these choices.
*I am thankful for the Lord as he helps me in my writing. I may not be the best writer, but the Lord blesses me with ideas that I thoroughly enjoy writing.
*I am thankful for my country, and for the freedoms I have here. I am thankful for a country where the Lord could restore His gospel to the earth.
*I am thankful for the Institute classes I have attended. I was never good at it, but I got the things I needed out of the ones I went to, and know that I missed opportunities for growth when I skipped. And so I am thankful for the opportunity to try once more this summer, and continue trying after my mission.
*I am thankful for the friends I have who are serving or preparing to serve their missions. I know that they will be incredible in their callings, and I pray that I will be able to do as well as I know they will.
*I am thankful for the passion that the Lord has blessed me with. I know that through this passion, the Lord will be able to lead me, as long as I direct the passion towards the things that He wishes for me.
*I am thankful for the trust my friends have in me. I am thankful for their ability to turn to me in times of need, and I am thankful for the Spirit which helps me as I try to bring comfort to them.
*I am thankful for so many things, the Lord has truly blessed my life, and I an thankful for the ability I have to sit down and see some of them, and acknowledge the Lord in these blessings, and as I do so, have a sense of bliss come into my life.
The Lord is aware of each of us, and He blesses our lives beyond our comprehension.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Once Upon A Time....
There was a guy named Zelos, and he realized how blessed he was. As he looked at his life he realized that there was no way that there couldn't be a loving Heavenly Father above who knew him and loved him. And life wasn't always easy, but life was good.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Bitter-Sweetness
Did I know how much I would learn this past year? I don't think so... There's no way I could have predicted the trials that would have come. I could have never guessed the deep depressions I hit, the pain, the misery, the regret, all the hard feelings that I've experienced through everything. But I could have never predicted the wondrous feeling of being forgiven. I could have never guessed how high my soul flies when I'm near my Heavenly Father. I could have never guessed how amazing the Lord's Atonement is in my life. I could have never predicted how many wonderful examples can come into your life in such a short time. I could have never predicted how close I could get to people in just a short time. I could never have guessed anything.
There's so many things I've learned this year, and so many people I've loved, and I don't want it to end. But I have perfect confidence in my Lord and Redeemer. He will make my life alright, not free from trials, but good enough. I'll never reach perfection in this life. I'll fall short, I'll have trials, and I'll feel heart-break, but with Him, we'll work through them, and there's not a better lesson I could have learned in my life. He will aid me in everything.
It has been just an amazing experience, and I don't ever want it to end, but it will...and as woefully unprepared as I am for goodbyes...I need to have faith in the Lord to keep me happy, and to ensure that I will meet up with my loved ones once again.
This might look creepy, but I would feel ungrateful myself if I didn't do this. There are so many people who have affected me for the better this year, and I would feel entirely ungrateful if I didn't mention them.
Veline and Greg Anderson
Nicole and Gary Chadwick
Ethan Chadwick
Caleb Chadwick
Paul Anderson
Jeff and Abby Anderson
Samantha Anderson
Tyrell Morris
Ruthie Cobb
Michael De Fillipis
Tiffani Hendrickson
Cameron Barker
Daniel Irvine
Allee Evenson
Emily Frederickson
McKinsey Wilson
Tisha Santana
Sarah Pugsley
Rachel Scott
Ricky Nope
Laura Hergenroeder
Andie Grantt
Korrine Ivory
Tianna Rothwell
L.A. Norton
Jessy Auger
Bryce Sansing
Mitch Davis
Brooke Bytheway
David Tate
Kali O'Rourke
Candie Richardson
Brother Salmond
Brother Lucharini
Bishop Baugh
Sean Yadon
Taylor Halverson
Nick Lauritzen
Chantelle Hall
Amanda Hudson
Joseph
Kayti Mayfield
Kaity McDonald
Millie Struve
Michael Hogard
Belen Moyano
Payden
Michelle Moon
Christy Walters
Brenna Allen
Britain
Lauren Clark
Morgan Golightly
Julia
Jackson Cuzzins
Anna
Anthony Smith
Caitlin Horrocks
The Lord Jesus Christ
There's so many things I've learned this year, and so many people I've loved, and I don't want it to end. But I have perfect confidence in my Lord and Redeemer. He will make my life alright, not free from trials, but good enough. I'll never reach perfection in this life. I'll fall short, I'll have trials, and I'll feel heart-break, but with Him, we'll work through them, and there's not a better lesson I could have learned in my life. He will aid me in everything.
It has been just an amazing experience, and I don't ever want it to end, but it will...and as woefully unprepared as I am for goodbyes...I need to have faith in the Lord to keep me happy, and to ensure that I will meet up with my loved ones once again.
This might look creepy, but I would feel ungrateful myself if I didn't do this. There are so many people who have affected me for the better this year, and I would feel entirely ungrateful if I didn't mention them.
Veline and Greg Anderson
Nicole and Gary Chadwick
Ethan Chadwick
Caleb Chadwick
Paul Anderson
Jeff and Abby Anderson
Samantha Anderson
Tyrell Morris
Ruthie Cobb
Michael De Fillipis
Tiffani Hendrickson
Cameron Barker
Daniel Irvine
Allee Evenson
Emily Frederickson
McKinsey Wilson
Tisha Santana
Sarah Pugsley
Rachel Scott
Ricky Nope
Laura Hergenroeder
Andie Grantt
Korrine Ivory
Tianna Rothwell
L.A. Norton
Jessy Auger
Bryce Sansing
Mitch Davis
Brooke Bytheway
David Tate
Kali O'Rourke
Candie Richardson
Brother Salmond
Brother Lucharini
Bishop Baugh
Sean Yadon
Taylor Halverson
Nick Lauritzen
Chantelle Hall
Amanda Hudson
Joseph
Kayti Mayfield
Kaity McDonald
Millie Struve
Michael Hogard
Belen Moyano
Payden
Michelle Moon
Christy Walters
Brenna Allen
Britain
Lauren Clark
Morgan Golightly
Julia
Jackson Cuzzins
Anna
Anthony Smith
Caitlin Horrocks
The Lord Jesus Christ
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Sunshine
I pretty much plummeted into the depths of man PMS once again last night, but as I look at everything that's been bothering me in the sunshine, after a great Institute class, I feel like I should be better than this...I'm not yet. I'm working on it, I'm learning to get over the thoughts that keep me from sleeping, and I'm working on everything that's going wrong in my life...but, I just need time. I need time, and I need to stop coasting. I need to serve, I need to love, I need to work, and I need to be busy. Being alone with my thoughts lately has been my biggest source of pain...so that's got to stop.
Life is just easier for me when the sun shines. I can get out of my building and go for a walk, or do whatever...
I discovered last night how much I miss my car...that car is like the love of my life, and I miss it so much...I do. There was never a better way for me to clear my head than hop in the car, crank up the tunes and just drive. I ended up in parts of town I didn't even know existed when I drove...and now I just have to get places my two feet can carry me when I need an escape...someday we'll be united my dear car...someday.
Life is just easier for me when the sun shines. I can get out of my building and go for a walk, or do whatever...
I discovered last night how much I miss my car...that car is like the love of my life, and I miss it so much...I do. There was never a better way for me to clear my head than hop in the car, crank up the tunes and just drive. I ended up in parts of town I didn't even know existed when I drove...and now I just have to get places my two feet can carry me when I need an escape...someday we'll be united my dear car...someday.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
My Favorite Song
"The One That Got Away" - Katy Perry...I'm going to try and argue about how there is a vital message covered under that beat, and the performer that Katy Perry is...so here goes.
The fact is, this song is about a person that everything was going right with...there was honest love, but something ended up getting in the way of this happiness...something that will haunt the rest of their life...
It's just a song of regret of losing someone you loved, and always being haunted by the idea that if you had done anything different, told them how you felt, apologized for saying something dumb in a timely manner, held them tight when they needed you, just done that one little thing that they needed, you would be with them in that blissfully happiness you imagine.
I have two views on this. One, this type of argument probably not healthy...I dunno, we all have that land of what might have been, but the fact is, it's healthier living in the here and now, facing life as it comes, learning from the things you've done, and facing the consequences of your actions. The fact is, they did get away. There's always a slim chance that that person might someday want you back...but living solely on that slim hope...it seems a pretty dismal way to live.
And yet, as I preach that, I sit here, knowing that I might have let the only woman I've ever truly fallen in love with become my one that got away. And I'm not ready to face that future right now...I don't want to have to face the idea that I have someone I love get away, let her leave before I plucked up the courage to admit how much I love her when she needed most to hear it. I don't want to stand there in the background being the best friend forever on the sidelines, never being in the running for actually being happily ever after with her...
I dunno, I love it, because it provokes so much thought in me...perhaps it's shallow thought, but for once it's thought, which has been absent from my head for months...so I'm gonna listen and love.
The fact is, this song is about a person that everything was going right with...there was honest love, but something ended up getting in the way of this happiness...something that will haunt the rest of their life...
It's just a song of regret of losing someone you loved, and always being haunted by the idea that if you had done anything different, told them how you felt, apologized for saying something dumb in a timely manner, held them tight when they needed you, just done that one little thing that they needed, you would be with them in that blissfully happiness you imagine.
I have two views on this. One, this type of argument probably not healthy...I dunno, we all have that land of what might have been, but the fact is, it's healthier living in the here and now, facing life as it comes, learning from the things you've done, and facing the consequences of your actions. The fact is, they did get away. There's always a slim chance that that person might someday want you back...but living solely on that slim hope...it seems a pretty dismal way to live.
And yet, as I preach that, I sit here, knowing that I might have let the only woman I've ever truly fallen in love with become my one that got away. And I'm not ready to face that future right now...I don't want to have to face the idea that I have someone I love get away, let her leave before I plucked up the courage to admit how much I love her when she needed most to hear it. I don't want to stand there in the background being the best friend forever on the sidelines, never being in the running for actually being happily ever after with her...
I dunno, I love it, because it provokes so much thought in me...perhaps it's shallow thought, but for once it's thought, which has been absent from my head for months...so I'm gonna listen and love.
Beating Myself Up...
I've realized recently that I have been far to happy to just sort of coast under the radar lately. I get average to below average grades. My class attendance is abysmal... or worse than abysmal...it's actually down right pathetic. I haven't been to Institute in months (I went for the first time in ten forevers today...and it was a nice). I've been slacking socially, becoming reclusive, and moody, and a lot of just all around annoying things. I'm working on it though... I had a nice wake up call this weekend where I realized that I've been too happy about drifting. I haven't written anything that really is super important to me in months. I mean I have a tumblr where I post random thoughts, which although they have entertainment value (I'm so humble), really have no substance...and I've posted a couple of blog entries in the last few months, but again they were just there because I felt like readers might like updates, not because they had any particular substance...
All of my life I've had this feeling that there is so much I can do in my life. There are so many people that I can love, there are so many words I can write, so much good I can do...and yet I've been doing nothing to get me close to the potential I've always felt I have. I've been a pathetic waste of space for this entire semester. Moody, and just all around stupid. I'm tired of this. I'm working on this.
I'm still not perfect...I never will be, and I'll accept that (someday)...but I'm trying again...at least I hope I am. I want to be the person that I keep picturing I have the potential. I want to be a good friend, the kind of friend I have in my roommate, quick to forgive, patient when other people are careless, willing to move on and accept that people make mistakes, understanding when that loser he lives with (oh yeah, that's me) is an all around jerk...I can't be that person unless I learn to forgive others, and work hard on looking past people's mistakes to see the big picture that creates the good in people.
I guess what I'm trying to get at, is just to say that I'm sorry, and I'm trying harder. I've been so dumb this semester, and I'm sorry I've been venting to you guys so much, and I'm sorry that I've been such a prick...please have patience as I try and reform myself into something that's closer to what I feel my real potential is.
All of my life I've had this feeling that there is so much I can do in my life. There are so many people that I can love, there are so many words I can write, so much good I can do...and yet I've been doing nothing to get me close to the potential I've always felt I have. I've been a pathetic waste of space for this entire semester. Moody, and just all around stupid. I'm tired of this. I'm working on this.
I'm still not perfect...I never will be, and I'll accept that (someday)...but I'm trying again...at least I hope I am. I want to be the person that I keep picturing I have the potential. I want to be a good friend, the kind of friend I have in my roommate, quick to forgive, patient when other people are careless, willing to move on and accept that people make mistakes, understanding when that loser he lives with (oh yeah, that's me) is an all around jerk...I can't be that person unless I learn to forgive others, and work hard on looking past people's mistakes to see the big picture that creates the good in people.
I guess what I'm trying to get at, is just to say that I'm sorry, and I'm trying harder. I've been so dumb this semester, and I'm sorry I've been venting to you guys so much, and I'm sorry that I've been such a prick...please have patience as I try and reform myself into something that's closer to what I feel my real potential is.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Tumblr
I finally caved and got myself a tumblr account. I swore a while back that I wouldn't get one, but I did, and I'm enjoying it. I feel like I can post more often, because everyone else is doing it on tumblr...whereas blogspot is more just a big post here and there.
Plus a few of my Alabama friends have tumblr accounts, and this helps me stay in contact with them a little more deeply than facebook...So I mean it's cool. Just yeah there you have it. I have a tumblr, just in case you cared, and I've gotten 16 posts in in two days....I should chill.
Plus a few of my Alabama friends have tumblr accounts, and this helps me stay in contact with them a little more deeply than facebook...So I mean it's cool. Just yeah there you have it. I have a tumblr, just in case you cared, and I've gotten 16 posts in in two days....I should chill.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I Love Me Some Cheese.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0
Thank goodness for this song, now I know the days of the week...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiOumJEe2yQ
Keeping up the cheesy. Although this music video has some good dancing as opposed to the one above. Did anyone watch the girl in pink on the one above? She's my new favorite.
And to continue cheesy, this music video is pretty classic. I can't help wondering if Azkaban looks something like this. Also on the entertaining front. The music swells, and she has the exact same expression...the whole time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM
I do like the last song though. And the other two are strangely addictive, and yet I know they aren't real music...
Thank goodness for this song, now I know the days of the week...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiOumJEe2yQ
Keeping up the cheesy. Although this music video has some good dancing as opposed to the one above. Did anyone watch the girl in pink on the one above? She's my new favorite.
And to continue cheesy, this music video is pretty classic. I can't help wondering if Azkaban looks something like this. Also on the entertaining front. The music swells, and she has the exact same expression...the whole time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM
I do like the last song though. And the other two are strangely addictive, and yet I know they aren't real music...
Following a Dream
Yesterday a girl across the hall wanted me to work out some of the knots she had from our trip to California. Being back in an environment where people honestly appreciated my ability for giving massages made me acutely aware of the fact that if there's one thing I did in high school that I miss excessively, it's being the person who is always on hand to give massages. I mean I'm not gonna lie, I'm good at it, and I love it. So today I checked online for a massage therapy school in Utah. And now that I know that it's a possibility...I can't help but want to go. It just suddenly feels like a direction my life is supposed to go in right now...I don't want to leave USU, and yet, I want to go to this school.
Oh and on the same note, I read places their students end up working, and one of them is working on cruise ships...that's been a dream of mine for a long time...could my life really work out like this?
Oh and on the same note, I read places their students end up working, and one of them is working on cruise ships...that's been a dream of mine for a long time...could my life really work out like this?
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Curing a Terrible Case of Man PMS
I feel like this semester I've been a total jerk to everyone. I've studied myself a lot and come up with a million rationalizations for why I am the way that I am, and although I don't really like the way I am, I feel that it's justified for me to be this way anyways, because I've rationalized everything.
Finally something clicked in my head that made more sense than all of my rationalization. I have the ability to change what I am. I don't have to be this jerk that I feel like everyone thinks I am. I don't have to be so OCD about everything, I need to chill. Get over myself and just calm down.
Perhaps some sun, warmth, good friends, and beach time helped me mellow out and actually think clearly, but whatever it was, I'm glad. Hopefully as the people I've been a total jerk to this semester get back to Jones, I'll be able to keep this attitude in mind, and just chill.
Finally something clicked in my head that made more sense than all of my rationalization. I have the ability to change what I am. I don't have to be this jerk that I feel like everyone thinks I am. I don't have to be so OCD about everything, I need to chill. Get over myself and just calm down.
Perhaps some sun, warmth, good friends, and beach time helped me mellow out and actually think clearly, but whatever it was, I'm glad. Hopefully as the people I've been a total jerk to this semester get back to Jones, I'll be able to keep this attitude in mind, and just chill.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
My Life In A List
*Why am I so good at holding a grudge?
*California...next week. In a week I will be on the beach.
*Rebound? I dunno...maybe.
*Homework sucks.
*Dinner with my sister Thursday!
*Family went to HP World...it's cool. I'll go later.
*This blog sounds really negative.
*I actually had a good day.
*Donating plasma isn't too bad. Just don't try and run to catch the bus afterward...
*T-Swift jam party.
*The movie 2012 is dumb. Just a bunch of gratuitous destruction...I don't get it.
*I have some pretty awesome roommates...overall.
*On the other hand I have some really obnoxious people who think they're roommates...just for the record, this isn't your apartment.
*Our apartment went from being the worst to the best in a matter of five minutes when we got the second couch and the sound system. Yeah, you're jealous.
*Biology test Friday...yeah, we'll see how that goes.
*Social Systems quiz tomorrow. I'm gonna ace that thing.
*Dr. Horrible rehearsal tomorrow. We're working on music. Do I have to go, since I won't be in any of the songs...Moist doesn't sing. Also I was promised no rehearsal this week.. I feel like that is a lie now.
*Already missing Aggie basketball games. Won't be at another for at least two years...not okay.
*Girl at the plasma center was flirting with me. It's the facial hair.
*Actually, if I didn't laugh the first time, it's because it wasn't funny. Repeating and laughing at it, it's not funny. And by the way, your jokes are never funny, because they're pretty pointed. All of them. I get sarcasm, but yours is a little too biting, so please just stop trying, it's getting old.
*I'm a snob. I should work on that.
*My bucket list...I need to get into gear and do it.
*It's already March, where has my Freshman year gone, and how will I survive not living in Jones with all of the people I love here.
*This was rambling, just wanted to write and get some thoughts out. I might expand on some later...or not.
*California...next week. In a week I will be on the beach.
*Rebound? I dunno...maybe.
*Homework sucks.
*Dinner with my sister Thursday!
*Family went to HP World...it's cool. I'll go later.
*This blog sounds really negative.
*I actually had a good day.
*Donating plasma isn't too bad. Just don't try and run to catch the bus afterward...
*T-Swift jam party.
*The movie 2012 is dumb. Just a bunch of gratuitous destruction...I don't get it.
*I have some pretty awesome roommates...overall.
*On the other hand I have some really obnoxious people who think they're roommates...just for the record, this isn't your apartment.
*Our apartment went from being the worst to the best in a matter of five minutes when we got the second couch and the sound system. Yeah, you're jealous.
*Biology test Friday...yeah, we'll see how that goes.
*Social Systems quiz tomorrow. I'm gonna ace that thing.
*Dr. Horrible rehearsal tomorrow. We're working on music. Do I have to go, since I won't be in any of the songs...Moist doesn't sing. Also I was promised no rehearsal this week.. I feel like that is a lie now.
*Already missing Aggie basketball games. Won't be at another for at least two years...not okay.
*Girl at the plasma center was flirting with me. It's the facial hair.
*Actually, if I didn't laugh the first time, it's because it wasn't funny. Repeating and laughing at it, it's not funny. And by the way, your jokes are never funny, because they're pretty pointed. All of them. I get sarcasm, but yours is a little too biting, so please just stop trying, it's getting old.
*I'm a snob. I should work on that.
*My bucket list...I need to get into gear and do it.
*It's already March, where has my Freshman year gone, and how will I survive not living in Jones with all of the people I love here.
*This was rambling, just wanted to write and get some thoughts out. I might expand on some later...or not.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Before Leaving Utah
>This is a bucket list:
*Baptisms for the dead in Logan, and Salt Lake
*Swim at First Dam
*Tell her how I feel.
*Roadtrip to California
*Wake up in Vegas (preferably not broke, hung-over, married or any of the usual Vegas stereotypes)
*Play lots of Stupiduel
*Get reasonably good grades
*Look into a massage therapy school (highly considering this.
*Look seriously into the T-Swift concert...but that thing is expensive (Not going)
*Go hiking! Plenty of hiking.
*Wave-runners on Bear Lake
*Have at least one more fire in the Logan Canyon
>*Clean the sink at Angie's
*Go to Firehouse with the roommates (I want a Fhzookie right now, so stinking bad)(Sort of happened)
*Move on...it's about time (Mostly)
*Learn to forgive, and learn how to actually speak my mind.
*Kick butt in Dr. Horrible.
*Go tanning again (that's way relaxing...it's strange).
*Donate Plasma
*Go to the last Aggie Basketball game of the year.
*Build a snow village.
*Stop doing other people's dishes, and still manage to keep doing my own.
*Enjoy what it is to be single. Thrive in this time of your life, because it's fun.
*Read all of Jane Austen.
*Try every Aggie Icecream flavor.
*Go play racket ball (once, unless it's really fun).
*Swim a mile
*Game night with the Chadwicks
*Finish Part II of my novel.
Those are the things I've thought of now.
*Baptisms for the dead in Logan, and Salt Lake
*Swim at First Dam
*Tell her how I feel.
*Roadtrip to California
*Wake up in Vegas (preferably not broke, hung-over, married or any of the usual Vegas stereotypes)
*Play lots of Stupiduel
*Get reasonably good grades
*Look into a massage therapy school (highly considering this.
*Look seriously into the T-Swift concert...but that thing is expensive (Not going)
*Go hiking! Plenty of hiking.
*Wave-runners on Bear Lake
*Have at least one more fire in the Logan Canyon
>*Clean the sink at Angie's
*Go to Firehouse with the roommates (I want a Fhzookie right now, so stinking bad)(Sort of happened)
*Move on...it's about time (Mostly)
*Learn to forgive, and learn how to actually speak my mind.
*Kick butt in Dr. Horrible.
*Go tanning again (that's way relaxing...it's strange).
*Donate Plasma
*Go to the last Aggie Basketball game of the year.
*Build a snow village.
*Stop doing other people's dishes, and still manage to keep doing my own.
*Enjoy what it is to be single. Thrive in this time of your life, because it's fun.
*Read all of Jane Austen.
*Try every Aggie Icecream flavor.
*Go play racket ball (once, unless it's really fun).
*Swim a mile
*Game night with the Chadwicks
*Finish Part II of my novel.
Those are the things I've thought of now.
Friday, February 4, 2011
I Don't Know What to Call This
Do you know why I love Taylor Swift? It's all about the emotion behind the songs she writes. She knows what she's singing about, and she puts her all into the song, to get the point of the song across to people. She writes in such a way that you can just dive into her head and know what she's trying to say. It's amazing. I wish I could do something that awesome.
She might not have the perfect voice, or the most sophisticated music style, but really, I don't think her songs would be as good if she didn't perform them herself. She honestly understands what she's saying in her songs, which I guess you could say about a lot of other artists, but her lyrics mean more than most of the things in pop culture (partying/sex/alcohol).
I dunno, I just appreciate the fact that most of her songs are things that I've always wished I could say. Most of the songs on her Speak Now album I honestly can relate to, which I dunno if that's weird or not, but it's true. I mean at some point I've felt pretty much every single one of the emotions she puts across in music, much like my connections with David Archuleta's music.
She might not have the perfect voice, or the most sophisticated music style, but really, I don't think her songs would be as good if she didn't perform them herself. She honestly understands what she's saying in her songs, which I guess you could say about a lot of other artists, but her lyrics mean more than most of the things in pop culture (partying/sex/alcohol).
I dunno, I just appreciate the fact that most of her songs are things that I've always wished I could say. Most of the songs on her Speak Now album I honestly can relate to, which I dunno if that's weird or not, but it's true. I mean at some point I've felt pretty much every single one of the emotions she puts across in music, much like my connections with David Archuleta's music.
Craving
I could really use a good quality Alabama thunderstorm right now. I've been craving one like nobody's business for the past week. I want to run out into the pouring rain and just hang out in the warm rain that Alabama has, instead of the snowflakes, or the frigid rain we have here. I want to hear the thunder, and have it lull me to sleep. I want to see the lightning. I want to be able to just enjoy that sort of weather.
Sad news is that when I had Alabama rain, I can only remember once when I went out into it and thoroughly enjoyed it. It was a great afternoon, but I missed so many opportunities to just go out and be in the rain, and feel the relaxation that comes from it.
When I first moved down to Alabama, the fact that so much water could just fall from the sky terrified me. But now there's nothing I can think that's more soothing, and I dunno. I would really love something as soothing as a nice thunderstorm. I could use that.
Sad news is that when I had Alabama rain, I can only remember once when I went out into it and thoroughly enjoyed it. It was a great afternoon, but I missed so many opportunities to just go out and be in the rain, and feel the relaxation that comes from it.
When I first moved down to Alabama, the fact that so much water could just fall from the sky terrified me. But now there's nothing I can think that's more soothing, and I dunno. I would really love something as soothing as a nice thunderstorm. I could use that.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Fenced In?
Sometimes I regret how much I've tried to plan my life out in advance. Since sixth grade I've wanted to be a writer. Since fourth grade I've wanted to be with the same girl. Two of the most important decisions of my life, and I feel like I made them before I was ready to make any such decisions. I mean, true I'm not technically a writer, able to live and support a family off of what my writing brings in (so far I've earned a nice little sheet of paper that says I've written 50,000 words in a month, and no money), and true I'm not married to said girl. But those seem like the expectations everyone is placing on me. I mean I don't hate the prospect of either one, it's just, what if they don't work out? All of my family has been banking on said girl from the beginning of time pretty much. What if we don't work out though? I mean it would be easiest. We get along really well. I love her family, and I get the feeling that she likes mine pretty well too. We have so much history together, that we wouldn't really have issues. But I don't know... I don't want to go chugging along with my life for years, and get to the point where I look back and realize that I'm not really happy, I just did what was expected and rolled along with life without taking any chances on anything else. Without testing the waters and seeing if there might be something better out there. Not to insult said girl. She's wonderful, one of the nicest people you will meet, and all around one of the greatest examples in my life...I don't know what I'm trying to get at here.
Actually, I do. I think what I'm trying to say is how much I regret defining myself so early on. When I decided I wanted to be a writer, I decided that I should be bad at math and science, and so I closed my brain off and didn't let myself understand it. As a kid before this decision I was one of the best at math in my classes, it just came naturally, and I distinctly remember planning on becoming an inventor, and checking out the biggest science book in the city library, just because it looked so interesting. But I closed those doors when I made my decision, and so my math and science grades have always been mediocre.
Then when dealing with said girl, I chose to create the man I thought she most wanted out of me, without allowing myself develop into what I wanted to become. That sounds selfish, but I honestly feel that.
I'm just kind of sitting here trying to study for a biology test tomorrow, and instead of actually concentrating, I'm pondering if I would be good at this if I hadn't thrown those mental blocks up when I made my decision to become an English person...
Actually, I do. I think what I'm trying to say is how much I regret defining myself so early on. When I decided I wanted to be a writer, I decided that I should be bad at math and science, and so I closed my brain off and didn't let myself understand it. As a kid before this decision I was one of the best at math in my classes, it just came naturally, and I distinctly remember planning on becoming an inventor, and checking out the biggest science book in the city library, just because it looked so interesting. But I closed those doors when I made my decision, and so my math and science grades have always been mediocre.
Then when dealing with said girl, I chose to create the man I thought she most wanted out of me, without allowing myself develop into what I wanted to become. That sounds selfish, but I honestly feel that.
I'm just kind of sitting here trying to study for a biology test tomorrow, and instead of actually concentrating, I'm pondering if I would be good at this if I hadn't thrown those mental blocks up when I made my decision to become an English person...
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
College...Leading me Into Corruption.
If you know my music tastes at all, you know I abhor (loathe/detest/hate choose the one that seems like the most emphatic amount of dislike) country music. Honestly I think it's the worst genre of music ever, and that even comes after rap. There is nothing that is even slightly redeeming about country...
And yet, suddenly I'm falling into an actual appreciation for this sort of music. I honestly have fallen in love with Taylor Swift...and her music. Maybe she's not the most country person on the earth, but she's like the transition from my pop tastes to the country that I've always been so disgusted by. It's not just Taylor Swift anymore, either, I've been surrounded by country music lovers, and so I'm suddenly, not loving country...but you know, appreciating it...It's so strange.
And yet, suddenly I'm falling into an actual appreciation for this sort of music. I honestly have fallen in love with Taylor Swift...and her music. Maybe she's not the most country person on the earth, but she's like the transition from my pop tastes to the country that I've always been so disgusted by. It's not just Taylor Swift anymore, either, I've been surrounded by country music lovers, and so I'm suddenly, not loving country...but you know, appreciating it...It's so strange.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I Wish the World Knew...
the true gospel of Jesus Christ! Why do I want to serve a mission? Not because it's something my church is forcing me to do, or even expecting me to do. I want to serve, because I want to help people come to the greatest source of happiness in this life. The message of Christ's gospel is peace, hope, and happiness. That's what I want to share. This gospel has brought untold happiness into my life, and I want to share it with everyone else.
The first thing that brings me happiness in the gospel is the fact that I know, without a doubt, that God exists. He is in control, He is my Heavenly Father, and He loves me. I know this because I know He answers prayers, and the Holy Ghost has confirmed it to me. Not only does He love me, but even on my worst days, when I can see nothing worth loving in myself, He is there to open my eyes, and show me what He thinks of me.
There is always hope in the gospel. I think the most important thing I've learned in my life, is that my Savior Jesus Christ is always there with arms outstretched, towards me, beckoning me towards Him, reminding me that no matter how awful I think I am, He sees something worth saving. Even when I feel like no one could love me, He, the most perfect person to ever come down to this earth has suffered for my sins so that I can return and be with Him and our Father again someday, as brothers in the gospel.
There's a happiness that comes from living the gospel of Jesus Christ. I don't know why, I mean for a while, I thought it would be opposite. Trying to live all those rules, it's just a deprivation of all the fun I could be having. But it's not, now I see the effects of trying to step outside of God's path, and yeah, you may have some fun, but at the end of the day, when I've lived by God's rules, I sleep better, and I'm just happier, more willing to help. So maybe you think I'm missing something, but if you haven't tried to live by God's path and expectations, it's definitely worth trying.
I could go on and on, but I don't wanna sound overyly preachy. I just wish everyone were ready to let the gospel into their lives. I'm not saying it's the easiest path, I know that around every corner there is hardship, but I learned in institute that we have a lot more people on our side, cheering us on, than working against us. All around, I think it's a great deal, and I can't wait until I get to dedicate two years of my life to declaring the gospel to the world.
The first thing that brings me happiness in the gospel is the fact that I know, without a doubt, that God exists. He is in control, He is my Heavenly Father, and He loves me. I know this because I know He answers prayers, and the Holy Ghost has confirmed it to me. Not only does He love me, but even on my worst days, when I can see nothing worth loving in myself, He is there to open my eyes, and show me what He thinks of me.
There is always hope in the gospel. I think the most important thing I've learned in my life, is that my Savior Jesus Christ is always there with arms outstretched, towards me, beckoning me towards Him, reminding me that no matter how awful I think I am, He sees something worth saving. Even when I feel like no one could love me, He, the most perfect person to ever come down to this earth has suffered for my sins so that I can return and be with Him and our Father again someday, as brothers in the gospel.
There's a happiness that comes from living the gospel of Jesus Christ. I don't know why, I mean for a while, I thought it would be opposite. Trying to live all those rules, it's just a deprivation of all the fun I could be having. But it's not, now I see the effects of trying to step outside of God's path, and yeah, you may have some fun, but at the end of the day, when I've lived by God's rules, I sleep better, and I'm just happier, more willing to help. So maybe you think I'm missing something, but if you haven't tried to live by God's path and expectations, it's definitely worth trying.
I could go on and on, but I don't wanna sound overyly preachy. I just wish everyone were ready to let the gospel into their lives. I'm not saying it's the easiest path, I know that around every corner there is hardship, but I learned in institute that we have a lot more people on our side, cheering us on, than working against us. All around, I think it's a great deal, and I can't wait until I get to dedicate two years of my life to declaring the gospel to the world.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Feeling Better
Today I had a break between my Institute class and my Swimming class that spanned the gap from 12:00 to 3:00, so instead of the usual facebook stalking for hours on end, I decided to call my mom. It's nice being on better terms with most of my family. I mean, we still aren't one of those perfectly happy families, but I think I'm a lot more okay with that. We get along all right most of the time, and I can't and won't complain about that. It was nice talking with my mom today. I mean, it's nice living my own life, but it's nice having a family I'm okay talking to now.
Today the spiritual thought in my Institute class was all about how this life is too short to have negative thoughts. You have to let go of the things that bother you and keep your attitude positive. I know for a fact that that can be hard, but I just need to move on.
Another of my friends once told me that life is a balance of holding on and letting go. I need to learn to let go of the things that hurt me. Just move on, don't let them get the best of me. By the same measure I need to cling onto the things that bring me the greatest happiness in my life. I need to cling to the gospel of Jesus Christ. I need to hold onto my family, and realize just how significant and wonderful it is to have a family that is sealed together for time and all eternity; that is, to know that my family and I will all be together as a family even after this life. I need to let go of my bitter feelings towards those who intentionally or unintentionally. I need to let go of the things I waste my time with, like hours on facebook, when nothing is really happening.
I need to let go of my bitterness towards my family and do my work to rebuild the bridges.
Today the spiritual thought in my Institute class was all about how this life is too short to have negative thoughts. You have to let go of the things that bother you and keep your attitude positive. I know for a fact that that can be hard, but I just need to move on.
Another of my friends once told me that life is a balance of holding on and letting go. I need to learn to let go of the things that hurt me. Just move on, don't let them get the best of me. By the same measure I need to cling onto the things that bring me the greatest happiness in my life. I need to cling to the gospel of Jesus Christ. I need to hold onto my family, and realize just how significant and wonderful it is to have a family that is sealed together for time and all eternity; that is, to know that my family and I will all be together as a family even after this life. I need to let go of my bitter feelings towards those who intentionally or unintentionally. I need to let go of the things I waste my time with, like hours on facebook, when nothing is really happening.
I need to let go of my bitterness towards my family and do my work to rebuild the bridges.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Cliche, but what the heck?
New Year's Resolutions:
*Get ready for a mission. Study Preach my Gospel Daily, and really dig through the Book of Mormon, because that's what sets us apart from everyone else.
*Get in shape. Also has to do with the mission, but kind of for personal reasons. Kayaking and swimming should help, but work on flexibility too. Stop being the wimpy kid in the corner.
*Work on something musical. Practice piano, go out and sing in a choir, do something musical, and love it.
*READ! Finish a book of your choice every week...unless they're long books and then you get two weeks.
*Write part II. You're psyched about it, so go out and write it, and make it as awesome as you think it will be.
*Become more caring. Ask about things people are into, and ACTUALLY CARE about what they have to say.
*Baptisms for the dead monthly before the mission. This means talking to bishop and getting a recommend, and then planning ahead. But it'll be so worth it.
*Study. Foreign concept, I know, but really, you're grades can use all the help they can get. So, you know, shoot for A's, don't just aim for B's. Be above average.
*Get to know the Quorum. Actually help President Tate in your calling, instead of being a hindrance.
*Go to class. Don't skip unless you have a really legit reason.
*GO TO INSTITUTE!
*Eat somewhat healthier. I mean you are in college, so you can't ax out packaged food, but seriously, eat something healthy every once in a while. When you use your meal plan eat produce. Eat lots of produce.
*Pray more deeply and seriously. Know who you are talking to and really make that a meaningful conversation. You are not talking at your Heavenly Father, He wants to talk to you too. LISTEN!
*Slow down, enjoy life, and be happy where you are.
Always remember Richard G. Scott: "You become what you want to be, by consistently being what you want to become."
Also Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
I will make these priorities in my life, and I will love my second semester at school. And make it worth while.
*Get ready for a mission. Study Preach my Gospel Daily, and really dig through the Book of Mormon, because that's what sets us apart from everyone else.
*Get in shape. Also has to do with the mission, but kind of for personal reasons. Kayaking and swimming should help, but work on flexibility too. Stop being the wimpy kid in the corner.
*Work on something musical. Practice piano, go out and sing in a choir, do something musical, and love it.
*READ! Finish a book of your choice every week...unless they're long books and then you get two weeks.
*Write part II. You're psyched about it, so go out and write it, and make it as awesome as you think it will be.
*Become more caring. Ask about things people are into, and ACTUALLY CARE about what they have to say.
*Baptisms for the dead monthly before the mission. This means talking to bishop and getting a recommend, and then planning ahead. But it'll be so worth it.
*Study. Foreign concept, I know, but really, you're grades can use all the help they can get. So, you know, shoot for A's, don't just aim for B's. Be above average.
*Get to know the Quorum. Actually help President Tate in your calling, instead of being a hindrance.
*Go to class. Don't skip unless you have a really legit reason.
*GO TO INSTITUTE!
*Eat somewhat healthier. I mean you are in college, so you can't ax out packaged food, but seriously, eat something healthy every once in a while. When you use your meal plan eat produce. Eat lots of produce.
*Pray more deeply and seriously. Know who you are talking to and really make that a meaningful conversation. You are not talking at your Heavenly Father, He wants to talk to you too. LISTEN!
*Slow down, enjoy life, and be happy where you are.
Always remember Richard G. Scott: "You become what you want to be, by consistently being what you want to become."
Also Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
I will make these priorities in my life, and I will love my second semester at school. And make it worth while.
Monday, January 3, 2011
If You Think a Yoga Pose is Easy...
You're doing it wrong...
No joke, that stuff is hard. I mean it looks hard, but I was like "oh yeah, the warrior pose, I'm awesome at this thing." Then I realized I was kind of doing it wrong, and when I fixed what I was doing wrong...pain.
No joke, that stuff is hard. I mean it looks hard, but I was like "oh yeah, the warrior pose, I'm awesome at this thing." Then I realized I was kind of doing it wrong, and when I fixed what I was doing wrong...pain.
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